Jane had a problem with her ex boyfriend.  To get back together, she needed him to understand that she required real commitment.

David was an on again off again kind of man.  He would get really serious with her for a while and then back off and say they should see other people.  This had happened three times and Jane was tired of saying David was her boyfriend and then her ex boyfriend.  To get back together this time would require something more.

So, Jane sat down and decided what she needed from David.  She decided that she would pursue a two prong strategy.

Getting Back With An Ex Boyfriend

First of all, she said that they could get back together one more time.  If he called things off after that, she would move on with her life.  David had to be really serious this time.

But the second prong was just as important.  Jane realized that part of the problem was hers.  She always pushed to intensify the relationship too soon.  David would comply initially but then ask for more space after a couple of weeks.

So, Jane decided that this time, David would set the pace for the relationship.  She wouldn’t pressure him to make commitments other than not seeing other women.  Other than that fundamental principle, he would control the pace of the relationship.

When Jane presented this solution to her ex boyfriend, to get back together with the understanding that he would control the pace, David was quite receptive.

David, like most men, needed to be the pursuer.  When Jane set the pace, she took away his ability to pursue her.  He found that he felt both emasculated and suffocated at the same time.

A Winning Move

So, Jane stopped calling him.  She let David call her.  She stopped suggesting date ideas and let him set things up.

Jane found that at first they didn’t go out as often as she would have liked.  And, their dates were less “creative” than they would have been had she planned them.

But, she also found that the time they spent together was more meaningful than it had been in the past.  David no longer felt like he was a fish out of water when he was with her.  And, he no longer needed to take “breaks” from her.

What Does Your Ex Boyfriend Really Want?

Jane first needed to decide what she wanted.  She knew she wanted David and she knew she wanted him full time.

But, she also needed to figure out what David wanted.  He wanted to have space and he also wanted to be in control of the relationship.  Despite being a modern woman, Jane realized that this was important to David.

Suddenly, David was no longer an ex boyfriend.  To get back with your ex, figure out what you want and what he needs.  Then deliver.

Related posts:

  1. My Boyfriend Dumped Me – 5 Ways To Get Past Being Dumped By Your Boyfriend
  2. I Miss My Ex Boyfriend – 7 Ways To Cope With An Ex Boyfriend Addiction
  3. Do You Have An Ex Boyfriend To Get Back – 4 Things You Must Consider
  4. 5 Crucial Steps In How To Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend
  5. I Miss My Ex Boyfriend – The 8 Step System To Getting Over Your Ex Boyfriend

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