To improve something is to make it better. To make something better is to improve its quality. To improve a relationship, increase its quality.

What is quality in a relationship? Two simple words: confidence, and togetherness.

Confidence is not the same as trust. Trust is often based as much on hope as on reason, and is lost for small reasons or no reason at all. One instance of poor judgment can break a person’s trust in another. Your guy goes to the track with his friends and loses the rent money. After that, you don’t trust him with the rent money. So trust is far too fragile to base a relationship on.

Confidence is knowing he will be there, with his strengths and his weaknesses for sure, but there. The thing is, confidence works in both directions, or doesn’t work at all. Fortunately, increasing confidence in one direction also increases it in the other. Which leads to the first simple step of improving a relationship: increase his/her confidence in you.

Improvements don’t happen all at once: they are made up of small steps in the right direction. Anyone can take these small steps to improve the confidence others have in him. By taking them, you automatically improve the quality of the relationship. Here are some of the small steps, some of the things you can do today, tomorrow, and every day.

Confidence is knowing she will be there, so her confidence in you is knowing you will be there. So be there. Physically, be where you say you will be when you say you will be. If she expects you to be home when she gets there, be there, or leave a note saying why you are not and when you will be back. It seems a small, almost unimportant, thing, but it is perhaps the most important of all in building confidence.

People are disappointed by many people every day. All you have to do is be the one person who almost never disappoints. It really is very easy. Just be there. This does not mean you are at her beck and call. It only means you are where you say you will be when you say you will be there. It’s a goal to work toward, that anyone can get better at.

Togetherness is the other part of a relationship. Especially, being together and doing things together. No relationship will long survive fierce independence. Keep in mind, you don’t give up your freedom in a relationship — you add to it. Two people together are free to do far more than one person alone.

Togetherness grows not by demanding, but by offering. So here is the second simple step to improving a relationship: be willing to be together, even if sometimes it is not fun. Take it in small steps, perhaps by offering to go to the hardware store with him, or in the reverse, to go clothes shopping with her. Not only is this togetherness time, it is also a way to learn more about why he/she enjoys what it is you are doing with him/her.

As a practical exercise, to get you started, the next time she goes to the store, offer to go with her. The next time you go to the store, ask him if he would like to come, and tell him you would like his company. He/she may not want to, and that’s okay. But keep offering, keep asking. When you do get a yes, make it a together trip, not one of you being “dragged along.” Ask questions; let her show off her knowledge in an area you are not as familiar with. Make togetherness time a learning time. Mostly, you will be learning more about him/her.

Togetherness grows if you let it, but it grows even faster if you feed and water it. Learning more about his likes and dislikes, how he thinks, what he thinks about, how he acts in different situations, is the result of increased togetherness — and also leads to increased togetherness. All of which leads to a stronger, longer relationship.

These two simple steps, being there without fail and doing things together, will all by themselves improve the quality of any normal relationship as you do them more and more.

Don Dewsnap has spent years studying quality and its principles and applications. Now he has put his knowledge into a readable, useable book: Anyone Can Improve His or Her Life: The Principles of Quality. Find out more about this book at Principles-of-Quality.com.

Anybody over the age of, say, 17 has seen that infamous episode of Friends. You know the one: Ross and Rachel decide to go on a break to re-assess their relationship…and everything falls apart. Ross cheats, drama ensues, and there’s a big, nasty breakup. And while Ross and Rachel do get their “happily ever after” in the end, when you hear the dreaded words “I think we should take a break,” your heart flips over in your chest and you hear the bells of relationship doom ringing in your ears. Because outside the world of Friends, “I want to take a break” means that it’s over, right?

What Wanting a Break Can Mean

Not necessarily. Especially in long term relationships, your partner can be unhappy for an infinite number of reasons…and not all of them have to do with you. It might be something concrete going on at work or with family, or something harder to pin down, like feeling generally unfulfilled. Or sometimes, your partner may just feel unhappy without even knowing why. It’s frustrating, but it happens. And when it does, it’s perfectly normal for them to want time away to get a little bit of perspective.

Taking a break can be a good thing. It can give your boyfriend or girlfriend a chance to reassess their priorities and figure out what’s going wrong in life. It can make them realize that life is better with you in it than it is with you out of it. It can bring you closer and make your relationship stronger.

But it can also mean that your relationship is coming to an end. I’m sure it’s not what you want to hear, but sometimes “taking a break” is just a way of breaking up without saying so. To some people, it just seems like the easy (okay, the cowardly) way out of an unhappy relationship.

What You Should Do

First, don’t freak out. There are a lot of reasons why your partner might have asked for a break, and you don’t want to jump to any conclusions. So silence those ringing bells of doom in your head, and try to keep your cool. A “break” doesn’t necessarily mean a “break-up.”

Next, talk to your partner about why he or she wants to take a break, and try to look for the truth in his or her answers. If he or she hems and haws about giving you a reason for the break, you can start to worry. But if your partner insists that he or she just needs a bit of space to reassess their life and relationship, the best thing to do is take their statements at face value.

And then give your partner what they want. If you want to save yourself from a potentially dramatic and drawn-out break up, you might just want to break it off with them permanently. But if you really want your relationship to have a chance, you’ll have to give your partner the space that they need. There’s a chance that your boyfriend or girlfriend will realize that their problems lie within themselves – not with you. And though it’ll hurt to be apart, giving your partner the space that they need will only make the relationship stronger.

So just take a deep breath, try not to panic, and have hope. While it’s possible your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to end things permanently, it’s also possible for a break to be a good thing. Good luck.

Use PlanJam.com to find date ideas and dating advice.

Do you keep finding yourself in a relationship that doesn’t last even if you’ve been doing the right things? Then you could be getting into a relationship for the wrong reasons. Relationships like these usually start wrong and end horribly as well. Find out if you are in a relationship for the wrong reason by reading the following:

Wrong Reason #1: You feel lonely and alone.

Being lonely sometimes makes girls hang on dearly to their boyfriend even if he is not keeping his end of the bargain in terms of respect and love. Girls like this, which probably include you, feel so afraid of being alone even if their boyfriends are abusive and immature that they would rather choose to continue a relationship with a jerk than live alone.

Be very cautious if you are on the path of having a relationship just so that you can have somebody to hang out with during the weekend as this would lead you to commit wrong reason no. 1.

Wrong Reason #2: You feel the pressure of having a relationship.

Seeing every one of your girl friends with their boyfriends will definitely make you feel that you are living alone in a world made for two, especially if they’re getting engaged and you’re left wondering why you are still single.

Some women may take this as a go signal for them to hurry up and get into a relationship with any guy who’s available just to be able to keep with the current trend of being in relationships. Doing so is another way of walking into a sure disaster. Committing because of pressure won’t make you happy in the long run as rushing things like this doesn’t prepare you for the greater responsibilities ahead.

Wrong Reason #3: Committing just to fill the gap.

Have you ever felt that there is a gap in your life that really needs to be filled, and yet you don’t know how? Many women automatically assume that the gap is there because there is no man in their life at the moment. So they grab the next available man hoping that he could fill the empty space.

Sad to say, it won’t. The gaps in your life will still be there even if you get into a relationship. The worst case scenario would be that he’ll think that there’s something wrong with you, and that your level of insecurity is obvious enough to make him hesitate in taking the relationship any further..

How then can you avoid having these wrong reasons in your relationship?

You may have heard this line before, but you should help yourself first. Being lonely doesn’t mean that you automatically need a boyfriend. The answer to your loneliness could be meeting new friends and engaging in fun activities. If you look around you and all you see are couples, do not feel pressured. Instead, think of the freedoms you might have to give up once you commit.

Learn to fill the gap on your own if you think that there is something missing. The guys worth having would like to be with women who are independent and secure. Show these guys that you are worth having and you can be sure that they’ll knock on your door soon.

Aaron Adams specialises in relationship matters for women.

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An online relationship should be viewed like any other relationship. However, online relationships are gaining popularity mostly because people have the advantage of knowing each other first before the actual date. Also, they are considered safer and more practical for people who don’t have much time to invest in real world dating. But before going online and investing time in a virtual relationship you should learn some tricks.

1. Take time and make time. Does your online date get in touch with you regularly? Do you do the same? Neglecting virtual meetings can be considered abuse or neglect, so treat each other’s time with respect. If it’s lacking, might mean time to move on.

2. Online relationships are based on the communication between the two parts so make sure that works well. Also, don’t try to push the other partner to meet you too soon, they might feel uncomfortable. Make sure that you two know each other well before moving on to the next step; it takes a lot of time to build trust in each other.

3. Respect the other’s personal information and don’t share it with other people. If your partner is sharing digital photos with themselves, email address or other personal information, respect their privacy and don’t give that information to others.

4. Make sure that you have fun online; you can send postcards, photos, or media files to your virtual partner. You can both see clips on the internet or listen to the same music. You can talk on the same forums, share ideas about the same interests. There are many things to do with your virtual partner, just use your imagination.

Those are just a few of the things to can do to help grow your online relationships. Always trust your “gut” feeling, as this is your intuition and it is leading you so a safer and more comfortable situation.

Tend to your online relationship, just as you would with any other relationship. Water it with care and over time it can sprout and grow.

And, doing this online is a good way to start. Especially since it can widen the number of people you have the same interests with. You can now meet people world wide if you choose. This will also help you grow.

Your relationship ended to what appeared to be a couple that were destined to be together in a deepening courtship? There is still time too get that important person back in your life. Modern relationships and certain types of personalities can be brought back together with help and reconciliation. Has it been months? That persons memories are still vivid. You can get help getting your relationship back together after a breakup.

Two people can just have that all important connection. Even if it all falls apart. You can get back together again. Calling them too late or too soon may work. Or if you are not prepared it could take longer. There is a proper way to reopen the lines of communication.

Relationships can be healed. Do not fear repeating the mistakes of the past. You can be able to call them and open the lines of communication again by knowing sound principles to restoring a broken relationship.

Did that special person make things better at that key time? That can happen in your life again. Being lonely and concerned if that person was the once is usually a sign of something greater in the way you both connected. Get your relationship on the mend again. Make is better the second time around.

That person is the world too you still. Now you can begin a step be step approach to moving them back into your life. There is a wealth of information out there. But there is a fast method that integrates what is proven to work. You can be lead back into a relationship with your special someone that will last without the heartache.