You may be feeling fairly weighed down if you are facing a marriage break up.  With all there is something to reflect on and deal with you may not know where to begin.  It is best to wait a little, clear your mind and then sort everything out rationally and if possible without too much emotion.

When you get married you think that the marriage will last without end and it can come as a big distress when that marriage starts to collapse.  Your designed life has suddenly changed radically and you aren’t sure where your life is going any longer.  Then there are so many issues to take care of, both psychologically and financially.  The issues can be much worse if you have children involved who will also be affected by a break up.

There may be a possibility that you can work things out and save your marriage.  This does happen between couples if they can take a break and talk about what the troubles are in their marriage without fighting.  If you find that every time you try to sit down and talk about issues you both grew angrier than before then perhaps you should use a third party to manage this for you.

A marriage counselor can help you to be open and honest and to work out your problems.  A church pastor or minister is another alternative and often fairly a fine one.  A pastor tends to be more dedicated to helping save marriages as it is what the church decisively believes in.  A pastor will truly want to help you to reinstate your marriage and will do what he can to help you with that.

If your marriage is very hard to restore and you know that it is over then you to acknowledge that it is over and start preparation for your future.  A good divorce attorney is at all times a good idea and it really is best to get all your finances and possessions settled sooner rather than later.

To settle all the financial issues you may need to think about selling your house and splitting the earnings or one party buying out the other.  You will need to split any bank account balances.  Then there is the furnishings and appliances in your house, you will need to decide who will take what.  It is best to get all of these things sorted out early so you can finalize and move on.  If you delay settling these issues then it can be hard to move on to start your new life.

The most difficult thing to deal with during a marriage break up is if there are children involved and you need to make up your mind on custody.  It is important to watch the child’s interests first and always do what is best for them.  Don’t try to influence the way the child feels about the other parent as this can confuse and even damage a child emotionally.  You also need to be careful of the children’s position about the divorce as many children will think that it is one way or another their fault so you need to make sure that your child knows that the divorce is not his or her responsibility.  Assure the children that you love them and that the trouble lies between you and your ex and that it has nothing to do with them.

Never get your children caught in the middle of fights between you and your ex.  Don’t talk poorly about your ex in front of them or do anything to alienate them from your ex.  Unless the children have been mistreated by your ex, then there should be no reason why you can deprive him from his right to see and be with the children.

Try to work together with your ex to organize visit times and custody.  It is best if you can work it out between you instead of dragging it through court and fighting over custody arrangements.  Try to be flexible with visit times too, if your ex can’t have the kids on time on his due night, swap it for another night.  For the sake of the kids it is best to try and be open to discussion.

Whatever you do, don’t ever let the kids think that the divorce is their responsibility and don’t get them trapped in the middle of any arguments or custody battles.  Your future planning must always fit in your children and have them as your number one priority.

Marriage break ups aren’t easy but you will survive it and move on with your life.

Ayman Dweck is interested in relationship and dating, he survived a break up with the love of his life and managed to get her back in less than a month, to download a free e-book on how to get back at your ex, please click here.

Surviving my own painful break up experience make me willing to help people not to fall in the same mistakes I have fallen into, please feel free to download my free e-book, and read more about my experience in my website http://makingupofbreakup.com

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