Why Real Love Requires Self Love

MAIN QUOTE

“We are want to condemn self-love; but what we really mean to condemn is contrary to self-love. It is that mixture of selfishness and self-hate that permanently pursues us, that prevents us from loving others, and that prohibits us from losing ourselves.” ~ Paul Valery, French Poet, 1871 – 1945

DR. LISA LOVE REFLECTIONS

As a counselor I have often told people that they need to learn to love themselves. Yet, while saying this to others, I have at times taken pause to reflect and ask myself, “What does that really mean? How do we know the difference between a self-love and a selfish love? And, what can we do practically to love ourselves in the right way?” Perhaps the quote above holds a clue, because I believe true self love fills us with enough joy, peace, and love that our desire to be loving human beings grows. Because of this we want to express more empathy, compassion, and understanding towards others. Selfish love does the contrary. It increases our sense of self-loathing or our disdain and anger towards others. It causes us to act increasingly in our own best interests without considering the interests of others. It causes us to want to sacrifice others needs and desires in service to our own, instead of the other way around. Or, it causes us to self-destruct through a number of behaviors that may feel good temporarily, but ultimately they lead to the shutting down of our hearts and spiral us downward into increased self-loathing and self-reproach.

How then do we love ourselves in the right way? By first and foremost learning what love is. Then, by insisting that we feed ourselves with that love. This is best done by finding people who know how to love. From them we learn how to adopt loving mindsets, feelings, and behaviors. And, it is done by setting boundaries on people who don’t know how to encourage the greatest level of love in us. Because when we truly have that kind of love in our lives we are increasingly a blessing to others. Which is why real love requires that we love ourselves in the right way, so we can have the strength to love, the wisdom to love, and the energy to love those who need our love the most.

Blessings,

Dr. Lisa Love

FREE GIFTS ON MY WEBSITE: Go to: http://www.doctorlisalove.com/freegifts.html

Dr. Lisa Love is the founder of LoveMovies! and also the best-selling author of BEYOND THE SECRET: Spiritual Power and the Law of Attraction; ATTRACTING REAL LOVE: 4 Steps for Finding the Love You Want; and SOUL SUCCESS: How to Create Joy & Prosperity in Good Times or Bad; MEDITATION: The Path to Peace. Buy these books and receive bonus gifts at my website. She is also a Life, Relationship, Law of Attraction, and Tranformational coach. There’s a reason my clients tell me by working with me they get major breakthroughs fast! Decades of coaching and counseling experience combined with my extensive training and work with clients from all backgrounds help my clients make shifts in a rapid way. Contact me to discover what I can do for you.

FREE GIFTS ON MY WEBSITE: Go to: http://www.doctorlisalove.com/freegifts.html

WEBSITE: http://www.doctorlisalove.com
EMAIL: lisa@doctorlisalove.com
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Love INC hosts gift store open house, offers toy drive
Love in the Name of Christ Heartland (Love INC) is holding a holiday open house from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 4, at its Gift and Thrift Store during Delano’s Old Fashioned Christmas event.
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Short City Breaks

There’s nothing like a short city breaks to renew you when you’ve been working hard. Short breaks and city breaks are great to celebrate a highlight, when you feel like having a bit of fun, but don’t have the time for a long holiday. Even weekend breaks can lift the spirits, helping you to return to the fray with new energy.

There are several cities that make the best sightseeing city breaks. These include Paris, London, and Barcelona in Europe, as well as New York City in the United States. These cities are going to be the best when it comes to city breaks, because you will be able to spend your time in the city and will never run out of things to do.

So what is your idea of a good weekend? Enjoying a meal with friends and family perhaps? How about relaxing in the garden if the weather is nice? Maybe a walk in the park is just what you need to revitalise yourself and get back to feeling great again. On the other hand you could head to a city to spend some time in an altogether different environment.

Short city break packages are offered by various traveling and touring agencies. Europe particularly is a place where every country and every city has its own charm and thus has a continuous flow of short breakers and tourists from different places visiting. Some of the most visited places in Europe are Paris, Brussels, Venice, Berlin, London, Scotland and Rome.

The tour companies which specialize and arrange short city breaks also include musical concerts and seasonal festivals in their schedules. Short breaks in Europe have plenty to offer and it only requires a proper planning to make the weekends or a short leave worthwhile and entertaining.

Join one of our brilliant groups for short city breaks, choose an available date and book online for just yourself or with friends. Pick a brilliant idea, tell us how many people in your group and when you had like to go, fill in the online enquiry form and we will give you a quote within 24 hours. Go totally tailor-made – choose your activities, destination, accommodation, dates and transport.

Brilliant Trips provides short breaks don’t have to be boring, and weekend breaks abroad don’t have to be expensive. And also some winning breaks offering exciting activities, great evening entertainment and amazing value for money.

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Getting Out In A Bad Relationship

So, you thought you have finally found the ONE.

Someone who has an established career, with stable financial status, responsible, good looking, intelligent, and good-humored person has finally come into your life.

But, just when you thought you’ve finally met the ideal man or woman of your dreams, everything seems to be wrong and complicated. Suddenly, he has lost his job, she went bankrupt, he became careless, and she became paranoid about everything. You try to help your partner in dealing with the issues but it always turns out that he or she’s too good to ask help from anybody-even you.

Still, despite everything you still do almost everything to help your beau without you realizing that he or she slowly drags you into the pit of depression and helplessness they’re in. When you feel that you are no longer healthy, happy, and growing in the relationship, that’s the time when you are trapped in bad relationship.

Being stuck and stranded

It is always hard to end any kind of relationship-especially if it’s a romantic relationship. But, no matter how hard to end something that you thought is precious, you should know when to end a relationship especially if you are well-aware that its not doing you any good.

The signs of the times would probably tell you if you are already being stuck in a bad relationship. Experts agree that the relationship is already bad when the couple is going through unusual periods of disagreement and bitterness that can be evitable in some relationships. You will also know if you are already in the pit of a bad relationship when it involves incessant aggravation and everything-even your partner-seems to be out of your reach.

The main determinant if you are in a bad relationship is the behavior of your partner. You can tell that you are being caught up in a bad relationship if your partner is beyond your reach of communication and comprehension, he or she doesn’t want to make any commitment, doesn’t profess his or her feelings even if there is a sort of commitment or plainly incapable of loving someone else besides him or herself.

Studies also show that in any bad relationship, the couple is often on dissimilar wavelengths that there is almost no common ground and no connection or communication that result to irritation and disappointment.

Since bad relationships usually stem from chronic reciprocation of what one or both partners need, the relationship itself can even damage the self-esteem of the persons involved. Bad relationships are also destructive for persons especially those who have invested so much in their careers for their personal lives since these serve as a perfect breeding ground for rage, bitterness, self-doubt, melancholy, and distress.

Aside from emotional distress, staying in a bad relationship can be hazardous to someone’s health. The most common hazard of bad relationship is the physical harm caused by an abusive partner. In less severe cases, being in a bad relationship can cause tensions and various chemical changes often triggered by so much stress.

Being in a bad relationship reflects so much on the person’s overall health and well-being because it can drain energy, thus, lowering the body’s resistance to illness. The common health hazards of being in a bad relationship include severe headaches, back pains, and stomachaches caused by anger and frustration; insomnia and melancholy caused by emotional distress; and weight problems caused by irregular behavioral patterns and depression.

If couples continue to be in a relationship that is no longer healthy, they will try to find a way to escape from being stuck inside by being alcoholic or drug dependent. Worse, being stuck in an unhealthy relationship can eventually lead to recurrent suicide attempts.

Breaking free

What most people inside relationships do not realize is that the more they try to work things out, things get more and more complicated. This is because both people in the relationship try so hard to pass through the stage without realizing that they are detaching themselves with their respective partners. As a result of this detachment is misunderstanding, incompatibility, and soon enough, falling out of love.

If you are already in a bad relationship that robs you off your freedom to be yourself, the freedom to love other person, and the freedom to get out of an unhealthy and destructive relationship, here are some of the things you can do to recover.

1. Consider your wellness as the first priority in life whether you are in or out of a romantic relationship.

2. Try to be “selfish” at times by focusing on your own needs above all else.

3. Be strong enough to deal with your own problems.

4. Have a positive outlook in life and cultivate whatever positive values you acquired within the relationship.

5. Nurture you spiritual side and try to look for ways or activities that can bring you inner peace.

6. If the relationship was quite traumatic, think of getting professional help or find a support group where you can chare your experiences and the lessons you have learned.

7. Don’t be afraid to fall in love but try to be more cautious next time so you won’t be stuck in a bad relationship.

My Relationship Tips has hundreds of relationship and dating articles for men and women.

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Save Marriage Stop Divorce ? A Guide to Longevity

No one goes into their marriage wanting to be unsuccessful. Many couples don’t want divorce because they believe that it equals failure. New facts and figures now state that if divorce is not considered when problems occur in a marriage that couples can resolve their issues and have a stronger marriage.

If you are having trouble and are considering divorce, make sure to try to find alternatives that promote fixing the problems via open and honest communication or marriage counselling. This is preferable over the pain and effort involved in divorcing your spouse.

When others hear that you are having marriage trouble, many couples get unwelcome advice from friends and co-workers that they really don’t want. Divorce to others can be seen as a quick fix when in truth it can simply add to your problems rather than fixing them. While you value the support and advice offered by your friends, keep in mind that this is your marriage, not theirs.

By looking at figures, 80 percent of surveyed couples who at one time considered divorce and consequently decided not to go through with it claimed to be happily married years later. This can be explained by two likely outcomes. The first is that the couples who formerly were considering divorce decided to deal with their problems frankly. In doing so, it not only acknowledged their problems but it may have resulted in their discovering successful solutions that save marriage stop divorce.

The second is that when divorce was considered that it can alter the whole dynamic of a marriage. For some couples this could be a positive thing or it could be harmful to others. If a problem develops, those considering a divorce could see this as an alternative without ever dealing with the issue directly. If these problems mature or the issues faced become more disruptive, the option of divorce can be seen as an easy out and therefore become very tempting.

However, those who did not consider a divorce may find some success. They are required to deal with their problems, and possibly find a productive solution and common ground. Although this can be hard work and is not as straightforward as a divorce appears to be in fixing problems, working together and facing issues can be much more satisfying.

Marriage is a team of two players. When both players are actively working towards solutions to their troubles and remove divorce as an option, resolutions can be established for their differences. This will reinforce their marriage as you will be working towards something better rather than looking for a way to cut your losses and run.

If you want to save marriage and stop divorce and resolve to work through your differences, you can make your marriage work. It will give you the motivation to work to improve your marriage through thoughtfulness and communication. By listening to each other and finding the middle ground so it benefits the both of you; you can bring together a marriage that will last for years to come.

Get relationship help from the man that has secretly helped 50,000+ people In 77 different countries… watch free videos on handling and repairing relationships by clicking here. All you need is a great strategy and fantastic confidencial support!

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Delete Facebook to Save Your Marriage, Pastor Preaches
This Sunday, Reverend Cedric Miller of the Living Word Christian Fellowship Church in Neptune, New Jersey, will ask his congregation of 1,100 to delete their Facebook accounts, in order to preserve their relationships.
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Dating Awareness | Free Online Dating | Online Dating Services | Free Online Dating Websites

Online dating has become very popular over the past few years, even more so than running around in bars and clubs trying to find that one soul mate. That being said, there is a great and grand history to the way Internet dating got started and how it has evolved like a living thing over the years. People seem to flock in droves to the online dating sites and it begs a question that needs answering. A couple of hellos every now and again, a lunch date, may be a dinner date or two but it appears that these conventional methods can’t work. If so, maybe you should jump on the bandwagon of online dating.

There are many reasons why you need to consider online dating In addition to becoming a user of any online dating services you are in fact showing yourself to the rest of the world, increasing your circle of friends as well as raising your hopes to find the right partner. Online dating offers one of the easiest and most effective method available to meet new friends even create a lasting relationship. With online dating websites you can browse through a collection of hundreds to thousands of possible relationship prospects without leaving the comfort of your house.

Most single men and women love the online dating scene, once they become familiar with how it works. The online sites can offer new possibilities; open new doors previously locked to them and can even give the most social phobic person a chance at a “normal” dating life. Keeping in mind that there are protocols to follow, online dating sites can offer many people a chance at love that they may not have had in the past.

Reasons for why we use an online dating site:

1. Online dating is convenient.

2. Online dating is relatively safe. (If you are cautious.) 3. Dating online is among the most diverse niches you may find. 4. Dating online guards your privacy. 5. Dating online provides comfort. 6. Online dating is not a waiting game. 7. Online dating is a great venue for the shy types. 8. Online dating is costs less. Yo will find more number of Free online dating Websites like truedate4u.

Jessica Williams provides interesting articles about celebrity dating and Free Online Dating. In these articles get the information about stars, celebrities, sport stars dating news and Free Online Dating tips, safety tips for online dating, free dating services and many more

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